I wanted to start a journal so that my kids Caden and Charles will have something to remember when they are older. After the birth of my second son who is coming to 6 months, things have never been busier in my life. Fortunately, in Singapore, we have helpers who love my kids and have given me great support. Things might have been easier if I was a young mom, but as an older mother, I find it hard to follow the pace of my 3-year-old son and 5 month-old baby.
About 20 weeks into my pregnancy and when all the tests deemed everything normal and stable, I told Caden that he was going to have a new sibling. I threaded slow and carefully because I have heard of horror stories of some mommies getting their stomachs kicked by the older kids due to jealousy or just rage. I repeat myself to Caden a few times a week and I will let him touch and stroke my tummy. I also showed him the ultrasound scan pictures of his new sibling, Charles. At first, Caden was happy to listen and would touch my tummy whenever anyone asks him where his Didi is. After a while when I started to really show, he became a bit rough. There were 2 occasions when he kicked my tummy unintentionally and I had to rush to my gynae at Thomson Medical Centre to make sure that everything was fine. The more my tummy grow, the more Caden ignored my message that Didi is in my tummy. It’s like he knows Didi is going to be delivered and will be getting my attention. My friends keep telling me this is a normal reaction because they are jealous but I had wanted the experience to be exclusive and special for Caden, Charles and myself. Soon enough, Caden started to ignore me when I bring up the topic of having a new addition to the family. He seemed unhappy and by the time I reached my 28 weeks, I decided to stop talking about Didi.
Charles’s birth was intense and of course painful for me as I had to endure c-section. I remembered that I read from somewhere that it is good to give the older sibling a present and say it’s from the younger sibling and of course being a kiasu mommy, I bought 2 presents for Caden and told my mom and helper to pass to Caden when I was admitted to hospital for Charles’ birth.
Everything went smoothly. My mom brought Caden to TMC to visit me and he was very happy to see his new sibling and with our introduction, Caden was very excited to meet little new one. He kept talking about his new brother and was very loving to Charles. It’s strange to see how they connected but for a mother, it is the best gift to see 2 brothers bonding and loving each other.